Thursday, March 31, 2005

Computer! Hello, Computer!

More random bizarreness.
  • "Become one of the low rates" Doesn't sound too pleasant.
  • "Latest operation system for your computer requires less presently!"
  • "S0mething's !eaking inside your cOmputer"
  • "Growing company ignored by Wall Street" I diagnose social anxiety disorder. Paxil, anyone?

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

I forgot what I was going to say

To make up for not posting yesterday from the 300+ spams I got since last Thursday, here are a couple of extras for your enjoyment. If I had to categorize these (which I don't) I'd label this post "generally weird crap".

  • "DOnt fOrget y0ur address" Don't worry, my mind is like a... umm... what was the question?
  • "Execute and maintain a reaction." I thought this one was funny when I first saw it, but I'm ambivalent now. What do you think?
  • "hot news flash..." Must be a reaction to the dangers of HRT...
  • "My V,!,C*O'D'.N ES are killing me" Mine, too.
  • "Notice anything weird lately?" OMG, SPACE ALIENS HAVE TAKEN OVER MY PC!!! Nope, I got nothing...

Thursday, March 24, 2005

This film is not yet rated

Wow, it's surprising how many posts I've managed to do without having something sex-related... Well, that ends today.

  • "Watch my Impotence receptors" I have no idea what this means - it just sounds funny.
  • "The day of recknoning has come." Are you threatening me?
  • "Altoids vending can be yours" Sounds like a good business proposition. What's the ROI?

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

America is a land of immigrants

Apparently a lot of spammers don't realize that their largest audience alreadly lives in the USA.

  • "50,000 people and their families will live and work in the USA" I guess the rest of us had better just go back "home".
  • "Double Chances for Married People to win the Green Card" But you can't win if you don't play.

Monday, March 21, 2005

The truth is out there

Tonight, on 60 Minutes:
  • "The Shocking Truth About How To Buy Rolex Watches & Louis Vuitton Bags At A Fraction Of The Cost" I can hardly contain myself.
  • "completely differed phram" I'm not sure I would even realize if my phram was completely differed.
  • "Experience the wave of super market on PC programs." Because every time I'm at Kroger, I check out their software selection...

Friday, March 18, 2005

Doctor, doctor! It hurts when I do this!

I never wanted to be a doctor when I grew up.
  • "You can be a nurse or doctor." See above.
  • "Hey amigo- do you need a doctor." Are you asking me or telling me? Because my back really hurts today. Got some meds for me?
  • "King of Pharmacy orcg." Oh, king, eh? Very nice. Well, I didn't vote for you.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Hey, I'm in software, too!

Happy Maewyn Succat Day! Here's some spam!
  • "Lone our firm could advise you another software merely at a small price."
  • "Nm Say nill to pricey PC program. Get ddiscount ones onlline." Does this guy have sticky keys?

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Limited time offer

A couple of retail-related subjects.
  • "Better prices this week only" Next week they revert to worse.
  • "Winter Special - Buy 1 and Get 1!" Watch out for the spring special, however - buy 2 and get 0.

Monday, March 14, 2005

At the risk of upsetting our current clientele

For your viewing pleasure, a couple of highlights from today.
  • "Fully Up-to-date Viagra Pr0 --- the good founding of the modern year." Wow, Viagra Pr0! My modern year needs the good founding.
  • "Preview our upcoming monthly hot pick before subscribers." So what's the benefit of being a subscriber, if you're never the first to know?

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Do you suffer from...

I just had to share this one, even though I don't normally post on weekends.
  • "Accolate used for the prevention and long term treatment of asthma fist."

Friday, March 11, 2005

A blast from the past

Just because I can, here is a list of some "highlight" subjects over the past few months.

  • "now that I am coot acid" I know you are, but what???
  • "NEVER BE SICK AGAIN!!!" It made me physically ill just looking at it.
  • This one is actually the "from" name on the message. "Toang Escobar". Now there's an interesting family history.
  • "Erika is the right man for the job."
  • "We are the best Jthompson." So far the best Jthompson I know is Jeff, and there's only one of him. Thank God.
  • "fly is really annoying with too much fat ignition." I just don't know what to say about this one.
  • "You can transform to the first individual for your girlfriend."
  • "Dell the medicines together If your medical doctor or dentist suggests." I hate it when people verb nouns.

Four for the price of one!

Many days I only find one or two subjects worth posting. However, today (the inaugural for SpamSense) finds us with four.

  • "Award: We are waiting for your nomination." So I can nominate anyone I want? How about... me?
  • "We resolve to present you utterly new model of Ikepod wrist watches. Fantabulous discount for our clients." I guess if you're not a client, you have to pay the regular, non-fantabulous price.
  • "Hands up if you want savvings on PC operation system as well."
  • "Women change your life." Well, duh.