My brain locked up... *reboot*

My wife claims to have never eaten Spam in her life.

• "ANIMAL GO BYE BYE!" Hey-ho, Kermit the Frog here.
• "do you kids have the muppet show?"
• "do you like jack rabbit? muslim" Now that is just wrong - throwing religious aspersions about based solely on someone's diet preferences.
• "Injoy your Cartier that looks 98% real!" Do you have one that only looks 75% real?
• "On organise is sack theorist"
• This one may have been the "from" name on the e-mail. "Shawna Colon"
• "this is an email" Whew... for a second I though it was sky-writing.
• "yuor auccnot has been spnudesed"